2X & Fitted for Progress: How Clothes Show What the Scale Can't (and Looking Damn Good Doing It)


 

2X & Fitted for Progress: How Clothes Show What the Scale Can't (and Looking Damn Good Doing It)



Finding Light in Hard Moments:

Sometimes you get shown the light in the strangest of places if you look at it right. Jerry Garcia said that in my favorite Dead song, Scarlet Begonias. That seems to sum up last week well. Sunday, Mom gave us the news that Dr. Dan had passed away. The long-time readers will remember Dr. Dan as my honoree hero from Team in Training. Danny beat leukemia back twice and won against it, but cancer is a relentless beast and got him in the end. People will feel the loss of Dr. Dan. Family holidays won’t be the same without him; I can’t think of one he was not at. Then he helped my Mom, find her cancer early, which helped her go into remission and be cancer-free today.

My Dad was as suit and tie guy. The very idea of wearing jeans to church would have horrified him. He labeled it with a single phrase: crumb bum. Don’t mistake my meaning; I acknowledge the memorial service centered on someone else, not me; but that voice of my father is so strong in my head, that was saying you’ll be a crumb bum. I didn’t want Dad rolling over in his grave. So, I went to my closet and looked for something to wear that wasn’t jeans and a polo. When I did that, I knew I had a problem; I had nothing that fit. 

I am a man who can match his bike jersey with socks, no problem. Dressing myself for dates, memorial services, or daily life, not so much. So, I phoned in a favor to my niece, who is a freshman at IU, and told her I needed her to take me shopping. Sorry, Chip and Katie, I didn’t have time to get to Evansville for you to take me. I am sure you are both relieved by that. Thanks, Brinlee Nicole, for stepping in!



“Swimming” in 3X:

This was the first time I had been clothes shopping at Kohl’s. Okay, the first time I went clothes shopping for myself at Kohl’s, not the first time I had ever been in there. Shopping presents a complex challenge; and we fall into old habits.

Buy sizes that are loose and show nothing. As big people, we think we are doing ourselves a service by doing this. We aren’t. Out of habit, without really knowing what I needed, I walked to the 3X shirts and started picking up that size. I was going to say picking them out, but let's be honest, I was a tourist on this trip. Brinlee picked everything out; I just told her the size I thought I required. 

When I donned the first 3X shirt, it declared itself unmistakable; the shirt was too big. I told Brinlee this with a certain amount of pride and glee in my voice.   

Next, I tried on the pants and the jacket. The waist on the pants was good. I thought how the pockets sat made them too small though, but I went out for an expert opinion. My current stylist said they fit well. Then I went back into the dressing room and put the jacket on. The way it split a little after I buttoned it gave me pause, but I also couldn’t help thinking, Damn, I'm looking pretty good. I could see the lines of my body. I could see the progress. Years of hiding in baggy clothes had made me feel I needed to keep doing that, but nah, I was rocking these pants and jacket. 

From Sister Bay to the Fitting Room:

Shifts do not happen overnight. Sometimes it takes a specific moment in time to help you realize how far you have come. I think I realized it when I buttoned that jacket in the dressing room. The light bulb popped on for me and I was wearing 2X shirts now.

Shouldn’t I have known? Didn’t I just buy three 2X shirts in Sister Bay, Wisconsin, the weekend before? Why yes, I had, but sometimes realization takes a moment. Sometimes, we put too much faith in the scale and not enough into what our body tells us. Scale said Saturday I was up 3.4 pounds, but the clothes I am wearing tell a much different story. The clothes are the proof. Yes, the clothes and the fabric that make them up are the story. 2X is my shirt size now, and that is a tremendous change for me. 



When You Look Good, You Feel Good:

Wearing clothes that fit radiates an infectious energy. Leaving the store, I felt a rush of excitement about wearing my new clothes. I couldn’t wait to put them back on. To show them off.

When you look good, you feel good. That good feeling carries over into everything you do.   

Dad wouldn’t be calling me a crumb bum had he been able to attend Dr. Dan’s service. Dr. Dan and Dad would be proud of me. Proud of how I had transformed my life over the last five or six years. More importantly than that is that I am proud of myself.   

Progress isn’t just a number on an iPad at WW. Sometimes it's the 2X tag, a sharp, fitted suit, and the feeling of walking around with your head held high!


Photo Gallery(Billy b in 2X):








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