Dreaming of a Life Less Ordinary

Have I told you how much I hate to fly?  I never really liked traveling.  I am a creature of habit and I love to be in my habit. Traveling takes you out of habit.  I am not with my dog.  Then, last August I went to Albuquerque and the plane did the shake, rattle, and role the entire way from Denver and now I am stuck with PTSD from it.  The turbulence was bad juju magumbo and every flight for my stupid fucking job since, has had me white knuckling it the whole way there and back.   Hell I even almost assumed crash position on one flight at take off.  However, as a big man, there were other reason I also hated traveling.   Have you ever walked onto a plane and read the eyes of every passenger.  Looking at you and thinking omg, I hope I don't have to sit next to them because they are so large?  It lead me to only flying first class, or getting two seats on the plane.  I am not lying those eyes that are haunted whether you are seated o...

  Saturday May 2, 2026: It was probably the most nerve-racking drive to a WW meeting I’ve ever had. I’ve made that trip in the late ’80s, again in the ’90s, the 2000s, the 2010s—and now the 2020s—but I don’t think I’ve ever felt nervous.  I was not nervous when I went in August of last year for the first time in a long time, I said I was going and I went.   I kept telling myself that it didn't matter, it was just a number.  I kept telling myself that my self worth wouldn't change regardless of the out come.  It didn't and it hasn't.  However, even as I told myself it was just a number on a scale and weight was a fickle thing that can hinge of so many things besides just what you eat.  We are talking sleep, mood, what you drink, when you drank it, restroom breaks and regularity, it all goes into the end result.  There was a nervous tension in my car and no matter how much I tried to lose myself in the podcast I was playing, my mind was thinkin...