Resignation

 

Lot more of this in my future!

Resignation

You don’t just leave behind a job when you resign. It’s so much more than that. It’s the smile you would kill to get every day. It’s that friend you can talk to for hours at a time and never get sick of. It’s the dude who pumps you up and makes you feel like you are incredible. It’s not just the bad but the good you walk away from.

If you listened to me, you’ve heard in my voice for a long time that I’ve been unhappy at work. I tried to stick it out. I tried to “make” it work. I tried to make it better. At the end of the day, the joy was gone. It was harder and harder to get up on time and prep for meetings. It was harder and harder to listen to people and take them seriously. Until one Friday when you’re so close to the end of your rope it all blows up and you are the asshole.

It’s at this point I take my leave. I’m tired of looking for the silver lining. I’m tired of trying to like my job. I’m tired of staying for those people that I’m in the trenches with, wiping shit off their face and mine. I’m no good to them broken. This job has broken me. I can point to almost the exact minute and second when the straws started to crumble, and I can absolutely point to when the final one did. Those from the trenches, you know I tried, you know I had the right attitude, but again, it’s not about you, it’s about me.

I know I tried. I know I did the best I could do with the hand I was dealt. It’s not that I was bad at the game, I am not, it’s that the game was rigged. 

Take anyone from my previous companies and they’ll tell you I’m great at what I do. I know it, they know it, we got shit done, and we sold companies, not deals but companies, for $8.8B. And yes, my walk away was not a fraction of a percent of that, but it was mine. I’m good at what I do and I’m great playing within the rules of a game. I excel in the gray, and people rely on me.

I never understood the rules of the game I was in the last time around. Still don’t, and it’s OK, because I am over it and I’ve put my cards down and walked away from the table.

Why? It’s because I’m fucking worth it. I deserve people who see my value and not just for making them feel better about themselves. For what I bring to the table. It’s time for me to live for me now. To find my own path forward. Find and do the stuff I love to do. Find my passion for life. Find my tribe and my sense of purpose. It’s time to rise like a phoenix from the ashes and do what I want when I grow up!

And for those of you who stood beside me through it all, thank you. Thank you for the laughs, the conversations, the encouragement, and for reminding me who I am when I forgot. The people are what made this journey worthwhile, and those are the memories I’ll carry forward. While this chapter is ending, I’m excited for what comes next, and I leave knowing that every step, good and bad, helped get me here.